Sr Kym Harris – Page 12 – Benedictine Monastery

July 22, 2020July 22, 2020

Found or found out?

My niece brought home, mid-term, a sheet that both her parents had to sign. It stated that she was falling behind in chemistry. A free and frank response was given by both parents – then the family set down to work. Her older brother stated that the text book she was using was ‘useless’. The one he had used three years previously was much clearer so that was brought out. Her father sat down and went through her subject to find out just where she had gotten lost and later that afternoon her older sister was teaching her just how the periodic table worked. The body language of my niece spoke of sheer relief: she knew she was in trouble but, like most adolescents, and indeed all of us for that matter, she had trouble putting her hand up and saying, ‘Help!’ She feared being found out but discovered herself found instead. When we are ‘found out’ we think we will be humiliated even more but when we are ‘found’ we are given the hope of change. We discover there is a way out of the mess.

Often we can fear approaching God because of messes in our lives. We think we have to clean up our act before we are worthy. Nothing could be further from the truth. God knows utterly what is out of kilter, even wrong with our lives…and is waiting to help. That is the point of the parables of the Lost Sheep, Lost Coin and the Prodigal Son. We do not have to find our way out of the mess…which we probably couldn’t anyway. We just have to stop, put aside our fear of being found out and let ourselves be found instead. Go on, sit down in one of your messes and say, ‘God, please find me!’

Loving God, you know my life – my joys and successes as well as my griefs and disasters. Come find me in the midst of my mess. Let your good Spirit give me the courage to trust what you could do. I ask this in Jesus’ name confident that you will hear me.

Sr Kym Harris osb

July 22, 2020

“Forgive and Forget” No, not really.

The Resurrection stories in the Gospels are a little odd – not quite as straightforward as the rest of the Gospels usually are. To appreciate them, we need to put ourselves in the story even more than usual. For example, in next Sunday’s Gospel Jesus ‘confronts’ Peter about his three betrayals during his Passion. Peter’s denials were tragic. In a teen movie terms: ‘BFF denies knowing you to people who aren’t important, not once but three times! The friendship was DEAD’. In Jewish terms, three times met the decision was irrevocable.

But this is the Christian story. Jesus returns risen, feeds the disciples on the beach with a cooked breakfast on the beach. All is forgiven, yes…but not forgotten. Peter isn’t let off that easy. Jesus confronts him but not in the way we would. He doesn’t go back over the details of the betrayal but cuts right to the heart. He asks Peter three times, three times, if he loves him. Peter can barely get the words out saying that he does. Why? Because he knows that his actions have said exactly the opposite. Each question cuts deeper into Peter, uncovering the mess and, dare we say, meanness of his heart. By the time Jesus asks the last question, ‘Do you really love me?’ Peter is laid bare, ‘Lord, you know all things, you know I love you.’ Peter cannot trust himself but throws himself on Jesus’ knowledge of himself. He can’t reverse his actions – but Jesus can.

I think the saying, ‘Forgive and forget’ is silly. ‘Forgive, learn and move on’ is much better. Too often, in the process of forgiveness, we go over the ‘offending actions’ and only open the wounds even deeper. What we need is the wisdom that Jesus showed: a sifting of the heart to find the roots of the wrongdoing and to discover that love, true love, is even deeper. Betrayal and hurt then becomes stages of growth in our love for each other.

Loving Father, you know how we hurt each other, sometimes very badly. Give us the wisdom of your Spirit that we make sift through the hurt and pain, and find underneath it all real love. Let Jesus’ forgiveness of each of us guide us through the mess. We ask this in his name confident that you will hear us.

Sr Kym Harris osb

July 22, 2020

What do you want to hear in five years time?

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” So ran the children’s taunt. Christians don’t believe that. In fact we have a belief in the great power of words. One of the primary images used to describe the coming of God in Jesus is “The Word (of God) was made flesh.” This gives us a clue to the impact that words can have in our lives. Loving words can be better than a caress, harsh words worse than a blow and inspiring words can change the direction of a person’s life.

What would you like your children’s words to sound like in five or ten years time? Watch how you speak now. Yes, they will be influenced by their peers but your words will have more power in the long run. Listening to you they could learn that people can be funny, witty, honest, forthright, assertive even passionate without vulgarity, bullying, ridicule or harshness. Much is being said at present at the lowering of the standard of public discourse- but it can also be raised, one word, one person, one family, one school at a time. It will take some effort. The cheap vulgar words come out so easily and it takes some thought to be witty, but in the long run it is much more fun. Instead of being weapons of attack, our words can be a source of joy and delight.

Loving God, help me to watch what I say and give an example to my child/ren. In years to come, may I hear my language echoed back to me and may I delight in what I hear. I ask this in Jesus’ name confident that you will hear me.

Sr Kym Harris osb

July 22, 2020

The Teaching of Little Children

The teaching of little children

In recent Sunday Gospels, Jesus encourages his disciples to become like little children if they want to enter the kingdom of God. How are we to take this up? As parents, teachers and guardians, we know well enough the challenges of encouraging our children out of their childish ways. Some scripture experts state that in Jesus’ time, children were the powerless and without rights and that when Jesus encourages us to be childlike, he is calling us to be humble. But there is more to that, surely? In the situations where Jesus calls us to be childlike, he shows a deep affection and delight in children – something we often experience.

All of us cherish the times when our children charm our hearts and open us up to the mystery and glory of life. Their questions give us a fresh perspective. Their trustfulness melts our hearts to tender care. Their sense of joy renews our delight in life. As an aunt of many nieces and nephews I could fill many pages with cute stories that would delight me and probably bore you….because you have your own stories of your own children. These are important! God wants you to dwell on them and learn from them. The qualities that delight you are the very qualities that God would delight in finding in you.

Our challenge is to relearn the mystery and magic of being childlike. We can do this by remembering our own experiences with children and then imagine how we could translate that into our behaviour as adults. Then we will discover that we have grown up into the kingdom of God.

Loving God, give me the wisdom to learn how to be childlike from my children. May their lives lead me into the fullness of your life. I ask this in Jesus’ name confident that you will hear me.

Sr Kym Harris osb

July 22, 2020

Speak to Me

“Speak to me, I will listen with the heart.”

As parents, one of the greatest joys is when our child opens his or her heart to us. We feel fulfilled in who we are. We know that we can’t force it to happen. We know it rarely happens when we are tired or cranky or busy or distracted. We know that such a sharing touches something very deep within us and within our child.

God too is a parent…one who has made it clear that listening to the desires of our hearts is of highest importance. God is never tired, cranky, busy, distracted, rather God is just waiting for us to crawl up into the divine lap and pour out our heart. Unbelievable as it seems, God listens to each of us as though we were the only one. We may find that hard to understand as we complain that our prayers go unanswered but we have to ask ourselves what type of prayers are they. Are they just words we repeat with our hearts far away? Are they orders given to God to make life easier – don’t let the boss be angry? Find me the parking spot? Let us get a good price for the house? We are more than these concerns, we have deeper needs and God knows this. Something deeply human within us blossoms when we share heart to heart with God.

This Lent, take some quiet moments with God. Perhaps when waiting to pick up the kids, when putting the washing out, during a lull at work, ask yourself, “What is my heart feeling?” and share that with God.

Loving God, you want us to draw close to you. Send up your Spirit so that we may see how much you loved us by sending us your Son. May the example of Jesus inspire our prayer. We ask this in his name confident that you will hear us.

Sr Kym Harris osb

July 22, 2020

In Praise of Routine

Children are back at school! One can almost hear the sigh of relief across the land. It may be because activities for the children no longer need to be organised or the preschool rush is over but underneath it all there is a huge sense that we can get ‘back to normal’: to get into a routine again. Very good things happen within a routine. A routine gives a sense of security. It gives the time when children and adolescents (and adults for that matter) do their best learning. It gives us the space to focus on other things in our lives. If our routines are good.

Many important things happen routinely. Like showing care, affection and attention to each other. The building blocks of our family life are often done on what seems like ‘automatic pilot’, and that is a good thing, if our routines are good. Now is a good time to review what you do routinely: how you say ‘good-bye’ to your children as they go to school, listen to them when they come home, ensure you have a ‘happy time’ together each evening, skype a parent who may be away. Ordinary activities are the most regular and routine ways we have to show love to each other.

The same can be said for our relationship with God. If we feel God is absent from our lives, we should consider how we could bring God into our ordinary activities. One way is to pray for each of your children every day. Take time to share your concerns and love each child with God. Your shared love of your children is a great and strong bond you have with God.

Loving God, let me see the ways good routines help my family to be feel secure and to grow in love. Let me appreciate the great bond of love I have with you over my children. I ask this in Jesus’ name confident that you will hear me.

Sr Kym Harris osb

July 22, 2020

True Importance

“For the most important person in the world – you!” Whenever I see an ad with a line like that in it, I feel like taking a gun to the TV or ripping out the page. What a terrible attitude to expose children to. Anyone living by that philosophy is condemning themselves to an unhappy, selfish life.

We are important…but as children of God. Made in God’s image, we are made to love and love is expressed as care. Image a community where everyone aimed at doing what was best for each other. Now you have some idea of the dance of love that goes on within God between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Many of you would have experienced a taste of that passion when your new born baby was first placed in your arms. The surge of care and responsibility towards this infant is a taste of true love.

The challenge as parents is to continue that love and care, day in and day out when you often don’t feel like it. But there is a greater challenge: to teach your child/ren to love and care in the simple daily tasks of family, school and community life. Rather than looking after ‘number one’ they need to learn to be like God and look after each other. Fostering habits of helpfulness will lay the foundation for true happiness. Small acts of daily service help them to grow into large-hearted people – true sons and daughters of God.

Loving God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, you call us to join in your dance of love. Give us the wisdom to show our children how to truly love you and to care for each other. We ask this in Jesus’ name confident that you will hear us.

Sr Kym Harris osb

July 22, 2020

In Praise of Inadequacy

In Praise of Inadequacy.

I am currently looking after my brother’s family. He is seriously ill and has gone to the US to receive lifesaving (hopefully) cancer treatment. His wife is with him. They have six children still at school, and I feel woefully inadequate. I am doing my best, at least I think I am but… Seeking support from a friend, Mary, who has had six children, she assured me that what I feel and think, good parents think and feel on many days. Parenting well is a constant challenge and you can often feel inadequate, even a failure. It struck me that that sense of inadequacy also goes with my vocation as a nun.

I have been a nun for over forty years and ‘praying’ is my job. And I still feel that I am inadequate to the task, that I am still learning. Yes, but when I take the focus off me, I know that prayer is really God’s love flowing through me and that I have to just be within the dynamic of love.

In its deepest sense, parenting is sharing in the mystery of God bringing another person to the fullness of life. Babies come so helpless and you as parents nurture them and before you know it they become that restless, difficult adolescent wanting care, but wanting to be beyond care: oh how they can make you feel inadequate. Maybe the source of the inadequacy comes not from being inept but from a sense of the mystery of parenting. You are like God in their lives and you don’t want to stuff it up. That is not just a good thing, it is sacred. You are walking on holy ground, and in the middle of all the mess and muddle you know it. In those moments, let God be with you: just as you are trying to bring your child to the fullness of life, God, through your child is doing that for you.

Loving Father, you know the challenge of parenting. Be with me, stretch my mind and heart as I try to love and nurture my child/ren. Give me the wisdom and love of your Spirit to do my best and then rest in your love. I ask this in Jesus’ name, confident that you will hear me.

Sr Kym Harris osb

July 19, 2020

Mercy, not Judgment

Mercy, Not Judgment

Recently, I have been hearing some pretty fierce criticism of a group. When responding to some remarks, I pointed out that the group had only six people but the expectations placed on them would require a couple of hundred to do the work. Each and every one of us has been in their position: overwhelmed by the work we have to do and smacked by criticism for not living up to other peoples’ expectations. We could cry, and sometimes we do.

As I get older, I am more and more convinced by Jesus’ injunction, ‘Do not judge.’ Oh yes there are some situations, yes, yes, yes but in the majority of situations we are involved in we don’t know a great deal and we can make some pretty sweeping judgements based on a lot of ignorance. I remember being shocked when I heard the numbers of the above group. In the seven years since, I have not heard one person ask if they had the adequate numbers to do the job expected. We need to stop and think, to ask what practical constraints might be on others’ shoulders, to imagine what situations others might be in that would lead to them acting in that manner.

Instead of practicing judgement, we need to practice mercy. We can begin this day, perhaps with the next person we met. We can ask (interiorly of course) what might be the troubles they are laboring under, what might be the joy and love upholding them? Just wondering changes us. It opens our minds and hearts to the other person’s reality and in that space love and kindness, the signs of God’s love, grow and maybe even dance.

God of mercy, make me merciful as you are. Send me your gracious Spirit to wonder about the lives of the people I met and let me treat them with the tenderness that Jesus has for them. I ask this in his name confident that you will hear me.

Sr Kym Harris osb

July 19, 2020

In Praise of Boredom

In Praise of Boredom.

My sister recently posted the following meme: ‘I love it when the kids tell me they are bored. As though the lady in front of the sink full of dirty dishes is where you go to find out about how to have a good time.’ As I chuckled, I also realized how true it was. The lady doing the washing up does indeed know a thing or two about ‘good times’.

As I child, I learnt to play the piano. I don’t remember it as a happy experience and I was allowed (finally) to drop it at the age of 13. Now 51 years later, I have taken up playing again and have been surprised at the delight it is giving me. The big difference is not age but the wisdom I have gained in knowing that the boredom is part of the process of learning: practice isn’t fun but it is necessary.

So many of the good things in our lives entail large chunks of boredom. Washing the dishes is probably one of the least of them. Yet we do those boring things for love. Indeed, the boring things can show what is most precious to us and make us capable of loving even more. It can carve our spaces in our hearts that we didn’t know were there. Then in the big open spaces of boredom, we may be surprised by the delight of love.

Loving God, let me recognise and appreciate the boring things of my life. Let me give myself lovingly in those time and find beneath the boredom just how much I love my family, myself and you. I ask this in Jesus’ name confident that you will hear me.

Sr Kym Harris osb