Compassion – Benedictine Monastery

August 1, 2020

“Your best isn’t good enough”

I write this at a time when Australia has won a string of silver medals at the Olympics. The media reaction to the lack of gold reminds me of something that was said to me at times as a child: ‘Your best is not good enough.’ That hurt, and ended up stifling any ambition to do better, because if my best wasn’t good enough, what did it say about me? There are many ways to challenge and, for me, that wasn’t one that worked. No doubt about it, we do need challenge. I often think of challenges as the springboard from which we get the space for the most amazing gymnastics. So how are we to challenge?

The way God does. He knows what we have done, all our striving, all our failures, all our extenuating circumstances, our liabilities and the difficulties we labour under. No-one desires the best for us more than God does. But God also desires the best from us because God wants us to flourish, to live rich human lives. This best isn’t beating others. It is coming to our best selves – people who love, serve, create, enjoy in the midst of a whole range of circumstances. Imagine a difficulty you have or are facing. Now take a few moments to imagine how your best self could act. Now take a moment to ask God to grace your performance. Yes, the challenge God has given you can bring out the best in you and, be sure of this, God will cheer you all the way.

Loving God, whatever we do your love for us does not waver. Still, through all that happens you call us to the fullness of life. May we reach for the stars knowing that we are grounded in your love. We ask this in Jesus’ name confident that you will hear us.

Sr Kym Harris osb

August 1, 2020

Olympic Inspiration

Well, the countdown has passed and even the most non-sportsminded amongst us is inspired. There is something within us that is stirred by excellence. How we wish we could excel at something, anything for that matter. Well, we can. We may not be the brightest, the most athletic, the most beautiful or gifted in the usual way gifts are recognised, but we can be kind and when we are kind no one is the loser but we are all winners when we act that way. Even if people don’t realise what we have done, our own hearts tell us, our lives are better for the good deed.

When we look at the Olympians in London, they look good. That discipline and hard work have made their bodies beautiful. When we become Olympians of kindness, we too will be transformed for the better. We may not become beautiful but we will be attractive. Our levels of happiness will improve and, believe it or not, that will have a positive impact across our lives and the lives of others.

So what stops us? I don’t think it is just selfishness. I think inertia and lack of imagination often stop us changing. So maybe over these days when you are inspired by athletic feats, you might like to set yourself a challenge – for each gold medal you watch, imagine a gold medal kindness you could do in your daily life.

Loving God, you desire us to be kind and compassionate as you are! What a challenge! Send us the gift of your Spirit that we may live up to the ideal Jesus has given us. We ask this in his name, confident that you will hear us.

Sr Kym Harris osb

August 1, 2020

Images of Grace

I have been a nun for most of my adult life so I have mostly lived with women. Strange as it may seem, women are sometimes ‘narky’ and even difficult. At one stage in my life, I used to visit a community that had some ‘interesting’ members who would give their opinions in a free and forthright manner. A friend of mine was superior of that community and no matter how another person acted she always treated them well. A friendly, courteous, even gently humorous response would be given to words and actions that did not deserve them. I found her inspiring so one day I asked her about her behaviour. She told me that she had decided that no matter how another person acted, she would try to treat them with the respect due to a human being, and she would treat herself in the same way. She was no door mat for bad behaviour. It sometimes took great effort to do this. She had to prepare ‘good’ responses for expected bad behaviour and she had good friends to debrief with. The consequence was that she acted in a particularly graceful manner in difficult situations. She is one of my ‘pin-up nuns’.

We all know people like this- the ones who seem to be able to turn around difficult situations. They are ‘graces’ in our lives and, if it is possible, we should talk with them and ask them how they do it. It is not magic. They are wise people, who know how to access the grace of God that can transform the negative into something positive and life-giving.

Loving God, sometimes people are difficult – not only others but also us, even me. Send us your Spirit that we may gracefully turn our difficult situations and bad moods into something that gives life. We ask this in Jesus’ name, confident that you will hear us.

July 29, 2020

Sharing Compassion

One of the greatest joys in life is sharing passion with another – think about it. Now when you thought about it, you thought about people very close to you – spouse, partner, children, very best friend. But when you consider the words we use in English for sharing passion – ‘compassion’ (Latin background), ‘empathy’ (Greek background), we see that the relationships in which we show these feelings reach a far wider group of people – even people we have never met. Compassion and empathy stretch our minds and hearts and school us into making friends with many people in a variety of ways.

During Lent, Australian Catholics support ‘Project Compassion’. This is the fund-raising drive of Caritas, the international relief, development and social service agency. Throughout Lent your children will hear about the people helped by the projects of Caritas. As they hear they will be invited to help these people, not only through fundraising but also through prayer and interest. For you, as parents and carers, it is an opportunity to widen the horizons of their hearts and minds, to teach them to care for people beyond their own circle.

Loving God, we are each and all your children. Give us the wide deep love of your holy Spirit that we may recognise all people as brothers and sisters in Jesus. May we share in his compassionate heart. We ask this in his name confident that you will hear us.

July 29, 2020

Compagination

I try to learn something new every day and last week I hit a winner – a new word. Compagination! It comes from joining compassion with imagination. Now that’s a change we could all do with. Compassion – it is so nice, so good, so boring. Imagination – so light, so full of possibility, yet often useless and wasteful. But put the two together and what do you have: doing good for others that brings joy to them and oneself. I think this is how Jesus must have lived. The Gospels are clear that ordinary people, as well as sinners and outcasts, flocked to him. They enjoyed his stories, they enjoy his presence, they enjoyed the way he treated them. They enjoyed his compagination. Once I thought about how this could work in situations that I routinely have to deal with, I found my heart lifting. So I suggest to you now, think of a person to whom you have to be kind. Now how could you do that imaginatively? Enjoy!

Loving God, kindness and compassion can often feel so boring and stifling. Send us the wisdom of your Spirit that we may love like Jesus is a way that is freeing and joyful. We ask this in his name confident that you will hear us.

Sr Kym Harris osb

July 25, 2020

3. God’s messengers

Comfort my people: speak to their heart.

This is the third in a series of reflections on God’s comfort and our neediness.

3. God’s messengers

So we really have faced our problems, looked honestly at some of our negative behaviours and turned to God for comfort and strength. Don’t you just wish God would take those problems away? But it doesn’t happen like that. Most of us have to struggle with our weaknesses to the end of life. But this isn’t necessarily a negative thing.

When we truly face our weaknesses, recognise that we need help God doesn’t wave a magic wand and take them away. He sends us other people. Maybe it is friends, a counsellor, a group, maybe the person over the back fence. It is in the depth of our weakness that we meet the strength of other people. Yes, we will know people who will put us down but we need not focus on them. Rather we should focus on the people who build us up and appreciate what they give us.

God’s comfort will come into our lives primarily through others. We are made for community and in the love and strength of others we will come to be that work of art God desires us to be.

Loving God, so often we feel overwhelmed by the challenges of our life. Open our eyes to the comfort you offer through the people around us and give us the humility and love to accept their comfort. We ask this in Jesus’ name confident that you will hear us.

July 25, 2020

2. Just what is our neediness?

Comfort my people: speak to their heart.

This is the second in a series of reflections on God’s comfort and our neediness.

2. Just what is our neediness?

Many of the things that cause us suffering come from our own personal habits and weaknesses. These can undermine our lives, destroy our relationships and give us a sense of unhappiness.

Often these reveal themselves in habits that we don’t take seriously: gambling problems, an inability to talk about our problems, being demanding or rude…the list can go. You probably know some of your own…and maybe over the years have tried to deal with them. If you have been ‘successful’ you will have discovered that the real issue is not the problem you first thought you had but actually it had a deeper, and often different, cause.

I had a grandmother, who would put up with a lot and then explode over what seemed like a small incident to others. She would then say or do something hurtful, often with long term effects. Looking at her behaviour, I came to realise that the issue was not her anger but the continual putting up with unjust treatment. She needed to take a stand earlier when too much was being demanded of her. For her, stating her case when she was calm was harder to do than when angry. But for her own happiness, and others, it was needed.

When we are stuck in negative behaviour and wonder why God isn’t giving us the strength to overcome it, we may need to ask: what is the real issue here? What is the underlying problem causing this pain and failure. When we come to face squarely the root cause, then we may discover God’s comfort finally strengthening us to deal with it.

Loving God, you know that often we feel our lives are a mess and that we are overcome by our weaknesses. Send us the strength of your Spirit and the wisdom of Jesus to know how to face our pain and failure and turn it into a place where your love abounds. We ask this in Jesus’ name, confident that you will hear us.

July 25, 2020

Comfort my people: speak to their heart.

This is the first of series of reflections God’s comfort and our neediness.

1. What is comfort.

One of the strongest images of God in our Christian faith is that of ‘Comforter’. In the person of Jesus, God has come into our midst to be with us and to console our broken hearts. When people turn to God in prayer, they often do so because they are in distress. Yet God doesn’t seem to take away our pain and difficulties so we can rightly ask: how does God comfort us.

Firstly, just what is this ‘comfort’? Well, it is not being relaxed and comfortable, snoozing in an easy chair, no pain, no problems. The word comes from two Latin words for ‘with’ and ‘strength’. So when God wants to comfort us, it isn’t to take challenges away but to strengthen us through our pain and suffering to grow as human beings. Much as we don’t like it, these are an integral part of maturing and learning to love.

God’s comfort is directed to helping us face the challenges of life. At times, these just happen to us: we lose our job, get cancer, are bashed up. These things we often don’t deserve. But more often than not our distress comes from our own personal liabilities, in traditional terms our human tendency to sin. When we hear the word ‘sin’ today, we tend to absolve ourselves saying “Hey, I’m not really a sinner, I’m a good person. I haven’t killed anyone”, yet we all have personal habits and weaknesses that undermine our lives, damage our relationships and cause unhappiness to ourselves and to others and these we need to face. In order to receive the comfort of God, we need to first be honest about the reality of our need.

Loving Father, you sent your son Jesus, to come amongst us and speak to our hearts. We know our pain and struggle. May your Holy Spirit guide us through the maze of our problems so that we may share your comfort with our family and friends. We ask this in Jesus’ name, confident that you will hear us

Sr Kym Harris osb

July 24, 2020

Caritas

On a sleepy Saturday afternoon in 1998, the then head of Caritas was travelling through central NSW. His phone rang and it was confrere in Port Moresby, PNG, ringing to say that something awful had happened at Aitape in the north of his country. There had been a earthquake and the first news of a tsunami was coming through. They did not know how many had been hurt or the extent of the damage. So there on the side of the road, the Australian rang his contact at Caritas in Rome and transferred $10,000 immediately to Caritas PNG so that relief could begin as soon as possible. It is quite something to transfer money out of Italy in the middle of a weekend. Caritas can do that.

Caritas is an amalgamation of Catholic aid and development agencies from the nations of the world. It has the strengths of being national and international. Its workforce is usually local people that know their own country and how it works, but being united internationally through the Church, it can draw on the expertise and resources of other nations. While it can act quickly, it is also in for the long haul. Its work in Aitape continued for years, given the nature of the injuries sustained, particularly by the children.

During this Lent, you may hear your children talking about Project Compassion. This is a primary fundraising drive of Caritas that links the personal prayer and discipline that we are called to in Lent with a vision of service to our brothers and sisters across the world. If you want to know more about Caritas their website is www.caritas.org.au

Loving Father, you call us each by name and know us individually but you also call us to live together in communion with each other. Send us your Spirit that we may care for those beyond the circle of our family and friends, loving them as Jesus loves them. We ask this in his name confident that you will hear us.

Sr Kym Harris osb

July 24, 2020

“I know just how you feel.”

I’ve often heard that and far too often from people who haven’t stopped to find out just how I did feel and who have gone on to tell me what I should be doing with my life. Yes, I have felt angry and hurt about their so-called ‘care’. And I’m sure many reading this can recall similar experiences. The ‘care’ we have been offered either doesn’t suit our need or is given insensitively. But then maybe I haven’t expressed my need properly. It seems we all have a lot to learn about caring – both in expressing our needs and in giving and receiving care.

In Lent one of the traditional practices is ‘almsgiving’, that is the showing of practical compassion to those in need. The word ‘compassion’ comes from the Latin meaning ‘feeling with’. With this practice we try to feel with people and offer a care that is appropriate to them – not to how we feel about their situation. It is good to send money to help those in need who are remote from us but the challenge of ‘almsgiving’ in Lent is primarily directed at us learning better ways of being compassionate to those around us who are in need….and that is pretty well everyone. We are challenged to love like God. Over these weeks, take time to really listen to those around you, and even ask questions about how they really feel, what their deepest desires are, how they feel needy. Ask yourself these questions, and if needs be, ask for care for yourself.

Loving God, you know all our needs. Send us your Spirit of compassion to care for each other with the tenderness and wisdom that Jesus shows in his care. We ask this in his name confident that you will hear us.

Sr Kym Harris osb